he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
