she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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