Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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