we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize