How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
