R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had to cum in my sink.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
