Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
