i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
