You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
