ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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