dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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