i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
