You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
