I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
