Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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