when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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