girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
