Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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