i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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