Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
