it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
