I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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