good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
