I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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