If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
