I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
