God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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