I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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