I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
