11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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