I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
