Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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