I CAN MOONWALK!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
