I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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