Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
