i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
