my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
