We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
