i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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