My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
