When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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