We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
