Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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