Duck Duck Cougar?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
