How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
