no, he came in my armpit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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