I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
