It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
