We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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