Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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