Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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