DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
