the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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